You’ve done everything right. You’ve learned your baby’s cues, you’ve gotten into some kind of rhythm at home, and now — daycare is coming.

Whether it’s three weeks away or three days away, there’s this quiet undercurrent of anxiety that I hear from so many families: What is sleep going to look like there? Will they follow any kind of schedule? Am I about to undo everything we’ve worked so hard to build?

If you’re nodding along right now, I want you to take a breath. This is one of the most common conversations I have with families — both in sleep coaching sessions and on initial explore calls. And I want you to know: you can do more than hope for the best. You can prepare.

I’ve been helping families navigate the daycare transition for years. A long time ago, I put together a document — a list of questions I’d walk parents through before their baby started daycare — because even when we’re not specifically working on sleep, this transition matters. It affects sleep. It affects confidence. It affects how you feel walking back into work knowing your child is being cared for.

So today, I’m sharing all of it with you.

First, Let’s Honor How Big This Moment Is

Before we get into logistics, I want to pause here.

If you are someone who is relieved to be going back to work and genuinely excited for your child to be in daycare — that’s okay. You don’t have to feel guilty about that. But if you’re in the camp of I am not ready for this, how is this already happening — that’s okay too. Both are valid. All of it is valid.

I’ll share a piece of my own story. My first son is the entire reason I became a sleep coach. Zero to four months with him was incredibly hard. He was tongue-tied, nursing was a struggle, and sleep was basically nonexistent. And I remember sitting in that fog thinking: How am I supposed to go back to work when he can’t sleep?

I was fortunate to have five months of maternity leave. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around what daycare was going to look like when he wasn’t on any kind of schedule and was essentially attached to me around the clock. It felt impossible.

So at four months, I sleep-trained him — and it changed everything. I had one month between four months and his first day of daycare to get him on a solid schedule, to feel confident about his naps and his feeding, and to be able to drop him off without that sinking dread in my stomach. That month gave me the confidence I didn’t know I needed.

I share that because I hear this so often: I want to feel confident when I drop my child off. I don’t want to be passing them off to a daycare and wondering if they’re okay, if they slept, if they’re overtired. That’s not a luxury concern — that’s a real, legitimate need. And it’s one of the biggest reasons families come to me before going back to work.

Whether you choose to sleep train before daycare or not, what I do want for every family is this: go in informed. Know what to expect. Ask the right questions. Don’t assume — advocate.

The Questions to Ask Your Daycare Before Day One

1. What Ages Are the Other Children in the Room?
This one matters more than people realize. Especially in home daycare settings, you may have a mix of ages — a four-month-old, a nine-month-old, a two-year-old — all in the same space.

Why does this matter? Because scheduling is often grouped by age. If there’s a wide age range, your baby may end up on a schedule that isn’t actually age-appropriate for them. Asking about the age mix gives you context before you even ask about schedules.

2. How Do You Handle Scheduling and Nap Timing?
Once you know who else is in the room, ask about how they structure the day. There are generally three scenarios:

* Set nap times by age group — specific times when this group goes down, regardless of individual babies’ wake windows

* Awake window-based scheduling — where they work off how long your baby has been awake rather than a fixed clock time

* Following your schedule — where you communicate your baby’s rhythm and they try to honor it as closely as possible

The third option is ideal, but it’s not always possible. And that’s okay — you just need to know which one you’re walking into so you can calibrate your expectations.

When my son started daycare at five months, his home daycare was willing to follow his schedule. Because babies that age are on awake windows — usually about two to two-and-a-half hours — I would text them his wake-up time each morning so they could calculate when his first nap should start. That way they weren’t guessing, and I wasn’t wondering. It’s a small thing that made a huge difference.

3. How Is Sleep Tracked and Logged Throughout the Day?

Ask specifically: Will you know when your baby napped and for how long? Some daycares write it on a paper, some have apps with real-time updates, and some don’t track it at all.

Here’s what I tell every family: if you can get nothing else, get the last nap of the day — the timing and the duration. That one piece of information is often enough to make smart decisions at home. Was daycare stimulating? Did she only get a 25-minute cat nap at 3pm? Now you can adjust bedtime accordingly instead of being caught off guard by a meltdown at 5pm that you didn’t see coming.

Daycare is stimulating. It’s people and play and new environments — all wonderful things, but a lot for little systems to process. When you know what they’re coming off of, you can counterbalance at home. That’s how you stop over-tiredness from snowballing into rough nights and early mornings.

4. What Does the Sleep Environment Look Like?

I’ll be honest with you here: most daycare sleep environments are not optimized for sleep. They tend to be brighter than ideal, may have background music rather than white noise, and often have multiple children in the same room. This is normal — it’s a daycare, not a sleep studio.

But knowing what the space looks like matters. Ask to see it. If you didn’t get a full tour, ask for photos or a video of the nap room. Find out whether your baby will be in a crib or a pack-and-play, and whether there’s any light control in the room.

Then, ask for what you want. I’ve had families bring in suction-cup blackout blinds for their baby’s corner of the room. Sometimes daycares say yes. Sometimes they say no. But the worst that happens when you ask is a no — and then at least you know what you’re dealing with and can adjust your expectations.

One more note here: you do not need to transition your toddler out of a crib at home just because daycare uses cots. Children are remarkable at separating their environments. They learn quickly: this is how we sleep here, and this is how we sleep at home. Keep them in the crib as long as possible — ideally until age three or beyond.

5. What Sleep Aids or Comfort Methods Do They Use at Nap Time?

This is a big one, especially if you’ve done sleep training or are planning to.

Many daycares will pat, rub, or sit next to children as they fall asleep. Some allow pacifiers, some don’t. Some will offer a bottle before nap. Ask specifically: what does nap time look like from the moment kids go into the room to the moment they’re asleep?

This matters because if your child is learning to fall asleep independently at home, being re-introduced to sleep aids at daycare can create some regression. It doesn’t always — babies are adaptable — but knowing what to expect means you’re not blindsided when there’s an adjustment period.

If you have or are planning to sleep train: tell them. Ask if they’re willing to give your baby a few minutes to settle before intervening. Many daycares actually prefer independently sleeping babies — it makes their lives easier. The conversation is worth having.

6. How Do You Handle Feeding Before Naps?

If you’ve worked with me, you know that feeding upon waking — rather than before sleep — is a key part of breaking feed-to-sleep associations and establishing efficient feeding patterns. This is something you’ll want to communicate clearly.

Many daycares default to offering bottles before nap time. If that’s not what you’re doing at home, just ask. Let them know your routine, and ask if they can honor it. Again — ask for what you want. You may not always get it, but you won’t know unless you ask.

What My Ideal Daycare Setup Looks Like

After years of helping families through this, here’s what I recommend aiming for:

* Awake window-based scheduling — or at minimum, you informing them of wake-up time so they can calculate nap timing

* Some form of sleep tracking — ideally an app, but at minimum the time and duration of the last nap

* A somewhat darkened nap environment — even a small accommodation here helps

* Permission to use a sleep sack and/or lovey — keep a backup at daycare and rotate it home to wash

* Independent settling respected — or at least a few minutes before aid is offered

* Feeding upon waking honored — rather than bottle before every sleep

You won’t always get all of these. Some daycares will give you everything you ask for. Others will have firm systems in place and the answer will be no across the board. Either way, you’ll know what you’re walking into — and that is the goal.

Ask for what you want. You’re paying for your child to be there. I say that not as a power move, but as a reframe. You’re not being difficult by asking these questions. You’re being an informed, involved parent — and that benefits your child, the caregivers, and you.

A Note on Nap Transitions at Daycare

One thing that comes up often: daycares transitioning toddlers to one nap too early.

Many facilities shift kids to a one-nap schedule around 12 or 13 months — because that’s when a new “toddler room” schedule kicks in, not because the child is developmentally ready. The problem is, the natural transition from two naps to one typically happens around 15 to 16 months. Forcing it early creates over-tiredness — short naps, early rising, extra night wakings, and more bedtime resistance.

If daycare is pushing you toward an early nap transition and your gut is saying they’re not ready, trust that. You can ask about a gradual approach. Some daycares will work with you; others won’t. If you’re navigating this and you’re not sure what to do, that’s exactly the kind of thing I help families sort through.

What’s Waiting on the Other Side

Here’s what I want you to picture: dropping your baby off at daycare and actually driving away without that knot in your stomach.

You know what their schedule looks like. You know what their nap room looks like. You’ve asked the questions, you’ve shared your routine, and you’ve set the expectations. And at the end of the day, you pick them up knowing what their sleep looked like — so you can make good decisions that evening and protect their night.

You walk into work not distracted by worry. You come home connected and present, not crashed out from a night of fragmented sleep. You feel like you actually figured out this working parent thing — because you prepared for it.

That’s not a fantasy. That’s what informed, confident preparation looks like. And it’s available to you.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you’re in that season right now — maternity leave is ending, sleep is still hard, and the thought of handing your baby off to daycare when they’re not sleeping feels impossible — that’s exactly where I can help.

This comes up on explore calls all the time. Families who are heading back to work in four weeks, six weeks, eight weeks, and they want to know: Can we actually do this? Can we get to a place where I feel confident? Yes. We can. And we do it all the time.

If you’re reading this and something is landing — if any part of you is thinking I want this for my family — here’s where to start.

🎓 Holistic Infant & Toddler Sleep Masterclass — Watch this free masterclass to understand what holistic sleep training really is, how it works, and what age-appropriate sleep looks like for your baby right now. Watch the free masterclass here.

🔍 Sleep Insight Audit — Not sure if you’re ready for full training? Anne will do a personalized assessment of your baby’s current sleep and give you specific, actionable recommendations. No commitment required — just clarity. Book your Sleep Insight Audit here.

📞 Book a free Explore Call — Ready to talk through your baby’s sleep and figure out the right next step for your family? Let’s connect. Schedule your free call here.