You’ve decided you’re done surviving on broken sleep. You’re done Googling at 2am. You’re ready to get your baby sleeping — and you’re considering hiring a sleep coach to help you get there.

First: that decision takes courage. It really does. Asking for help, especially when you’ve already tried so many things, is not weakness. It’s wisdom.

But here’s what I need you to know before you book anything, sign anything, or hand over your credit card to anyone: sleep coaching is an unregulated field. Not every coach is created equal. Not every approach will work for your family. And hiring the wrong coach — or jumping in without doing your homework — can leave you more discouraged, more confused, and more reluctant to try again than you were before.

I’m Anne, holistic infant and toddler sleep coach, and I’ve been in this space for almost eight years. Today I’m spilling the tea on exactly what to look for, what to ask, and what red flags to avoid — so you can walk into your first sleep coaching conversation clear, confident, and set up for real success.

Why Getting This Right Matters More Than You Think

Let me paint you a picture of what happens when families hire a sleep coach without doing their due diligence.

They feel a rush of desperate hope, book someone quickly because sleep struggles feel unbearable, and then — when it doesn’t work — they’re left with something that I can only describe as sleep PTSD. The frustration of wasted money, yes. But more than that: the crushing discouragement of having mustered up the courage to ask for help and having it not work out. The doubt that settles in: is this just my life? Is my baby just never going to sleep?

I have these conversations with families regularly. Parents who come to me after a failed sleep training experience, nervous to try again, carrying the weight of that previous disappointment. They’ve already been through something hard. They deserve better.

This guide exists so that you never have to be that family.

1. Get Clear on Your “Why” Before You Do Anything Else

Before you search for a coach, before you hop on a discovery call, before you read a single Instagram bio — get clear on your why.

Not just “I want my baby to sleep through the night.” Go deeper than that. Because the real reason you’re here isn’t just about the night wakings. It’s about what those night wakings are costing you.

Here are the kinds of whys I help families uncover:

• “I want my baby to be genuinely rested and happy — I’ve started to realize they might be overtired all the time.”
• “I need to go back to work and I cannot function on the sleep I’m getting.”
• “I want to feel like myself again. I want time with my partner. I want to stop dreading bedtime.”
• “I want to be able to say ‘my baby is a great sleeper’ and actually mean it.”
• “I want predictability. I want to be able to make plans and live our life without sleep being a wild card every single time.”

When you’re clear on your why, two powerful things happen. First, you can identify much more quickly whether a coach’s approach and values actually align with yours. Second, when you hit a hard moment in the coaching process — and there will be at least one — your why is what keeps you committed and consistent. That commitment is a major factor in your success.

Write it down. Voice memo it. Brain dump it. Just get clear.

2. Ask for Full Transparency on the Approach — No Surprises

A trustworthy sleep coach should be able to walk you through their process from start to finish before you commit to anything.

There shouldn’t be mystery here. You deserve to know exactly what working together will look like — what happens before coaching starts, what you’ll be doing each night, how you’ll communicate, what success looks like, and what comes after.

Here’s an example of what full transparency looks like. When I work with families, I walk them through every step: the initial Explore Call, the intake form, the holistic assessment, the prep session where we cover everything together before night one, the sleep planning guide, how we communicate through coaching, what you’re tracking, how I’m reviewing it daily, and what wrap-up looks like including your roadmap beyond coaching.

By the time we start on night one, there are zero surprises. You know exactly what you’re doing and why.

Red flag: Any coach who is vague, evasive, or dismissive when you ask about their process. You are trusting this person with your child’s sleep and your family’s wellbeing. You have every right to know what you’re walking into.

3. Vet Their Experience — But Ask the Right Questions

Experience matters — but this one’s nuanced, so let me break it down.

Yes, a coach who has worked with hundreds of families over multiple years is going to bring a depth of knowledge and pattern recognition that a brand new coach simply hasn’t built yet. That’s real.

But experience alone doesn’t guarantee alignment. A coach who has been doing cry-it-out for ten years has a lot of experience — and that might be completely wrong for your family.

What you’re looking for is:

• Relevant experience — Have they worked with babies and toddlers your child’s age? With sleep struggles similar to yours?
• Real results — Read their reviews. Check their Yelp page. Look for specific, detailed testimonials that reflect the kind of transformation you’re hoping for.
• Continued growth — A great coach isn’t just coasting on past experience. They’re staying current with pediatric sleep research, refining their approach, and genuinely invested in what works best for families right now.

Don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions. I love when families come to a call with hard questions — it tells me they’re serious, they’re doing their homework, and they’re invested in getting this right. Ask things like: Can you tell me about a family with a situation similar to mine and how that went? What happens if we’re not seeing progress by a certain point? What is your guarantee and what does it cover?

A good coach will welcome those questions. A red flag is a coach who gets defensive or dismissive when you push for specifics.

4. Come Prepared with Your Real Questions

When you get on that first call with a sleep coach, bring your questions. All of them. Even the ones you think might sound silly or basic.

There are no silly questions when it comes to your child’s sleep and your family’s wellbeing.

The questions you ask on that call serve double duty: they give you the information you need to make a confident decision, and they give you enormous insight into the coach’s expertise, communication style, and approach to support.

How they answer tells you just as much as what they answer.

Some questions worth asking:

• How do you handle it if my baby cries a lot during coaching?
• Will I be in the room with my baby? Can I pick them up?
• What does daily support look like during our two weeks together?
• What if we travel or get sick mid-coaching?
• What happens after coaching ends — is there continued support available?

The vibe check is real. I say this sincerely: trust your gut on the call. You should feel heard, not rushed. You should feel educated, not sold to. The right coach will leave you feeling clearer and more hopeful than when you got on the phone — not more confused.

5. Talk About Long-Term Sleep Success — Not Just the Next Two Weeks

Here’s something I want every family to understand before they hire anyone: the goal isn’t a good two weeks. The goal is a sleeping child for the next several years.

The best coaches aren’t just focused on getting through the coaching period — they’re focused on setting you up with the education and tools to sustain sleep success long after they’re gone. Ask your coach directly:

• What do I do when we travel?
• How do I handle the next nap transition?
• What does a sleep regression actually look like, and how do I navigate it with a solid foundation in place?
• If my child is [age], what should I be preparing for over the next few months of development?

A coach who gives you vague answers to these questions — or who doesn’t seem interested in educating you beyond the coaching period itself — is a coach who is setting you up to need them again and again, rather than setting you up to fly.

My job is not to become your crutch. My job is to educate you so thoroughly that when something new comes up, you have the thinking framework to work through it yourself. Many of my families end up laughing about the acronym they coined: WWAD — What Would Anne Do? That’s not me still being in their ear. That’s them having internalized the sleep education well enough to problem-solve on their own. That’s the goal.

6. Get Crystal Clear on What Support Actually Looks Like

This might be the most overlooked piece of the conversation — and it’s one of the most important.

Before you commit, ask specifically: What does support look like during our time together?

• How do we communicate? Is it text, voice message, an app, email, calls?
• If something unexpected happens at 11pm on night three, can I reach you?
• How quickly do you typically respond?
• Are check-in calls included? How many?
• What’s the turnaround time if I send you a question?

When you’re in the thick of sleep coaching — especially in the first few nights — real-time guidance is not a luxury. It’s the difference between staying the course and derailing. You need to know exactly what you’re getting, so you’re not left sending messages into a void during the hardest moments.

When I coach families, they have daily access to me through our entire time together. I’m reviewing their sleep logs every single day, giving real-time coaching feedback, and walking alongside them through every scenario that comes up. That level of support is what creates the confidence and consistency that leads to lasting results.

Know what you’re buying before you buy it.

7. Understand the Timeline — Both Directions

Timeline has two parts that often get overlooked, and both matter.

Part one: How long will you work together? Understand exactly what the coaching period covers. Is it two weeks? A month? What happens if you need more time? Are there add-on options? What does the post-coaching relationship look like?

Part two: How quickly can you actually start? A great coach may be booked out. That’s actually a good sign — it means families want to work with them. But if you’re in the thick of a sleep crisis right now, waiting six weeks might not be realistic or aligned with where you are.

Don’t be afraid to ask directly: When is your next availability? How soon could we actually get started? A good coach will be honest with you about their calendar and help you figure out the most realistic path forward given your current situation.

I always look at my calendar the moment a family expresses interest. Tired parents can’t always wait — I know that firsthand. So knowing what “soon” actually means for a specific coach is an important and completely fair question to ask.

One More Thing: Trust the Vibe Check

I’ve given you seven concrete things to ask and evaluate. But underneath all of it, here’s the truth: you’re going to know.

When you get on a call with the right coach, something will shift. You’ll feel heard for maybe the first time in a long time. You’ll feel like someone finally understands not just the sleep struggles, but the emotional weight you’ve been carrying. You’ll feel a combination of relief and hope that this is actually solvable.

That feeling is not accidental and it is not something to dismiss. It’s alignment. And in a coaching relationship that is going to require your full trust and commitment, alignment is everything.

I always celebrate families who tell me they’re shopping around — talking to two, three, even five coaches before making a decision. That is exactly what you should be doing. You deserve to find the right fit. You deserve an experience that is transformative, not just transactional.

Take the guide above into every conversation. Ask every question. And then trust yourself to make the decision that is most aligned for you and your family.

You Deserve Real, Lasting Sleep Success

After almost eight years in this work, here is what I know with complete certainty: sleep is figureoutable. Your baby is not broken. You are not failing. And you do not have to white-knuckle your way through another season of exhaustion hoping things will magically improve.

The right coach, the right approach, and the right commitment can completely change your family’s sleep story — and more than that, it can change your motherhood experience entirely.

I’ve watched it happen over 700 times.

Ready to Find Your Sleep Coach?

🎙️ Listen to the full episode — Season 1, Episode 1 of the Confident Motherhood Podcast, where I walk through all seven of these considerations in depth, including real examples of what good coaching looks like and what to watch out for.

📞 Book a free Explore Call with me — If you’re curious about whether holistic sleep coaching is the right fit for your family, let’s talk. The call is free, there’s no pressure, and you’ll leave with clarity whether we end up working together or not. Head to https://EmpoweredWithAnne.as.me/FreeSleepChat  to book.

🔍 Not sure if you’re ready for full coaching? Ask about a Sleep Insight Audit — a personalized assessment of your baby’s current sleep with specific recommendations, so you know exactly what’s going on and what to do about it before committing to anything.

📥 Grab the free guide — Download Three Steps to Stress-Free Sleep at empoweredwithanne.com for a starting point on awake windows, sleep pressure, and what age-appropriate sleep actually looks like for your child.

You deserve rest. Your baby deserves rest. And you deserve a coach who will actually get you there.